Philadelphia Parking Authority...or the "PPA."

So for anyone who has seen that show "Parking Wars", the one about the Pennsylvania Parking Authority, should also know that the show is not dramatized for television; it really is that big of a problem. Literally the PPA (or in other words, disenfranchised, poor city employees) take money from other poor, disenfranchised people, who then give it to the wealthy city, who then re-distributes almost nothing back into the city it originally robbed from. This is a fairly easy conclusion to draw because most of the city looks third world/or like an underdeveloped state. The roads are terrible, the southeastern transportation authority (SEPTA) is extremely expensive (free to college students in Utah), garbage up to you ankles clutters the streets, and the residential buildings surrounding the city do not look like they need re-development, but rather burned to the ground. Yesterday Gretel and I had the “privilege” of being ticketed by one of these faux officers. We parked under a sign that stated, “Free two hour parking, except Saturday and Sunday.” We walked into a shop and three minutes later we were given a ticket of 26 dollars. I asked the officer why? The meters are turned around backwards (as if out of commission), and the sign states free two hour parking. He explained to me in a very self-assured way that the sign meant we are “free” to “pay” for two hours. Imagine that…free parking as long as you pay! I may not be the most intelligent person in the world, but by my standards that qualifies as an oxymoron. The officer then said, “Have you seen my show?” Outfitted with a huge smile, he further detailed his celebrity status to us. I asked him if I was supposed to feel better about being robbed by the city because somebody follows him around with a camera. I suppose his answer was yes, because all I got was laughter and a real clever comment,"I see your not from around here... well,welcome tho Philly." We certainly were having one hell of a time together. I then called to contest the ticket and after being hung-up on several times somebody finally did their job and held the line. Apathetically, the women gave me a hearing date of April 23rd. I responded by saying, “so we get to pay the ticket regardless of our hearing, considering we only have 15 days to pay it.” She said no, but that she also couldn’t guarantee that I would not be towed at the tune of two thousand dollars (which would then have to be contested as well through a separate division). So that is how Philly does it; they charge you 26 dollars or half of most people’s daily pay and then require more of your time to contest the injustice. So you lose the initial money, and then get to miss work, throw more good money at bad money, wait four months, and maybe, just maybe you will get your chance to re-appropriate your citizenship and re-collect your 26 dollars. Meanwhile, I suppose we will all thank our lucky stars we have a reality show that perpetuates theft from faux badges adorned with celebrity smiles. Philly, you’re the best!

"But thus do I counsel you, my friends: distrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful!" (Frederick Nitsche)